Entries tagged with [character] merlin blake

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"And never can you know when my seizures will happen."

Who: Jace Hartley, Evan Turner, Merlin Blake, Brandon Blake, and Miles Morrison (with Jesse Hartley)
What: Sickness and Health
Where: Mount Sinai, New York
When: After this

"Why aren't they telling us anything?! This is fucking ridiculous!" Jace snapped to his big brother, Evan. He really wasn't meaning to be an asshole about this but ever since Brandon called to tell him Jesse just had a seizure while he was visiting Merlin, he had been stressing out and panicking.

Once Jesse admitted he was having a rough time and not feeling himself from compassion fatigue, Jace had been worried about him. They nearly ended up having a fight and he hated that because they rarely argued. Stress was probably one of the biggest triggers for both of them with epileptic seizures, so he had been trying to watch him closely while trying no to get up in his face too much about it. Jesse was taking some off work and had slept a lot in the past couple of days, which Jace took as a good sign because his husband definitely needed rest. But Jesse had also agreed to chat with the guy who showed up as Merlin's biological father so Merlin had a buffer about his intentions before he met him in person himself. Jesse had gone over to Merlin and Brandon's place to see how Merlin was and update him on everything with Cillian.

Jesse seemed mostly just okay-ish that morning. He didn't have any appetite for breakfast and weary despite getting a decent sleep last night. But he was flat and more quiet than usual. Jace felt bad now for not enquiring if Jesse was feeling okay. The only thing was, Jesse didn't rally get warning signs of seizures coming. They just hit and they were terrifying. Now Jesse had been brought to hospital by ambulance, where Jace said he and Evan would meet them. But the place was chaotic and the receptionist had disappeared after checking the computer to see if Jesse had arrived. Jace felt like he was about to jump out of his skin, his anxiety levels were through the roof. Why the hell couldn't someone just fucking tell them Jesse arrived safely?

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[ FACEBOOK ] with Merlin Blake @ magicmoments

Things have been a bit shit of late. He's sleeping a lot but relieved to have him home resting in our own bed

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"Now you've adopted me into your family."

Who: Jesse Hartley and Merlin Blake, with Brandon Blake a bit later
What: Much to talk about
Where: Merlin and Brandon's Home, Upper East Side, NYC
When: Day after this and this

Today, Jesse didn't really worry about keeping up appearances. After his long chat with Jace in the wake of him meeting Merlin's biological father, Cillian, he was tired and realised he was feeling a little burnt out with compassion fatigue. It was something he had to take seriously once he realised that was what he was feeling and part of that was, as Jace gently suggested, not keeping Merlin in the dark about it. It was true, it wouldn't be what Merlin wanted. Jesse was just experiencing some guilt about it because he always wanted to be a strong source of support for the people he loved, unconditionally. The reality of recent conditions, however, was that he had to give himself a little compassion too or he'd end up overtaxed and having a seizure himself. Then he'd be little help to anyone, when they needed him the most. So, there he was, unshaven and dressed right down in a hoodie with his favourite pair of Jace's sweatpants, ready to spend some time with his little brother to go over territory that was going to be hard no matter how he was feeling. He had little sleep the night before, the fatigue still very much biting him in the ass. He planned to go home to bed once he finished with Merlin, something he assured Jace he would do so Jace wasn't extra-worried about him.

As promised, he had come over to see Merlin so he could report how things had gone with Cillian. That was the whole point of him being a buffer, so Cillian had context of the current challenging situation Merlin was in and what the last few weeks had dumped on them all, but also so Merlin could have as much information as he could to help him make the choice of whether he wanted to meet Cillian or not. Nothing about it was simple, especially not the emotions involved. There was a lot he had to tell Merlin about Cillian and he knew Merlin couldn't be anticipating any of it. Cillian was an incredible person and Jesse knew from spending time with him there was no doubt Merlin was his blood. That didn't mean the choice would be easy.

Jesse had a swipe card and the security code to get into Merlin and Brandon's place, but he would never use it unless it was an emergency. When he rang the doorbell, their House Manager, Wendy, answered and after offering Jesse refreshments, she directed him to where Merlin was in the entertainment room watching tv. Hands tucked into the front pocket of his hoodie, Jesse smiled when he came into the entertainment room where Merlin was in his Yoda Oodie with his iPad on his lap, looking half asleep as he watched the massive tv mounted on the wall. "Hey, buddy. How are you feeling? How's the pain? You're looking a little more refreshed than when I last saw you."

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"And I'll bring you heaven if that's what you need, 'Cause you've always loved the hell out of me"

Who: Merlin Blake and Brandon Blake
What: Pseudo-Date Night
Where: Blake Home, Upper East Side, NYC
When: After this and this

It had been a bit of a surreal few days for Brandon and he wasn't too sure how he was supposed to be feeling. He deduced that it should probably be something more able to be put into words but it wasn't and he only became conscious of that when Merlin asked him a very specific question in their DM chat. And because his husband specifically asked him to take the time to think about it before trying to answer, he did. A lot. Not that it was terribly productive and even that made him wonder more what the hell really was supposed to be going on in his mind after being diagnosed with cancer for the second time and being told he was no longer in remission.

All he had come to be feeling about that was a strange numbness. After the initial shock of the news and upset at having to tell the people he loved, this blanket feeling of detachment to it settled over him, like he was resolved to the fact he had to go through the motions - as horrible as they were to think about - yet again. This time, there was no choice but to fight. It was no longer just about him and his life. For him, it was more about Merlin now. Merlin was his life and therefore, he had to fight for his life again, whatever it took. It was what it was. But now Merlin highlighted it, he was wondering if it was a healthy state of mind to be in. With Beau out sick from work, he didn't even have anyone he could ask if this was normal or healthy to be feeling or if he was dangerously deluding himself. But whatever it was, he didn't want it to be all-encompassing at this moment. He and Merlin were going to have a pseudo-date in bed with some quality time together they both very much needed to recalibrate and catch their breath.

So, with Merlin's diet now even further restricted after his surgery and him not really having much of an appetite for any of the recovery staples the dietitian had suggested he have until his insides healed a little more, Brandon picked up a couple of pints of non-dairy Ben & Jerry's KaramelSutra (Merlin's new favourite), a thermos flask of gourmet oat milk peppermint hot chocolate, and a giant bag of Jolly Ranchers, Merlin's favourite candy. He also stopped by Lorenzo's florist and chose a beautiful bouquet of two dozen long-stemmed blue and white roses like they had for their wedding.

He found Merlin propped up in their bed amongst a mound of pillows and fluffy blankets, Ted Lasso on the TV on the wall opposite their bed, and his laptop open on his lap. He was crashed out with his phone on his chest and head lolled to the side like he had fallen asleep mid-text or mid-Twitter scroll or something. Brandon wasn't surprised. Merlin had been sleeping a lot since he was in hospital and Brandon knew all too well that if you slept a lot because you weren't well, it meant your body needed it. He was going to raincheck their pseudo-date and let Merlin sleep, but as soon as he took the remote to turn the TV down, kissing Merlin's forehead softly, Merlin woke up, his sleepy eyes looking around in confusion. Brandon laughed softly. "I was trying not to wake you, sweetheart. You should sleep while the pain's controlled. We can do this any time." Still, he rested his hand on the bed so he could lean over and give Merlin a kiss, smiling. "Hi."

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"Damn, I’m realizing how lucky I am and blessed to have best friends that understand."

Who: Merlin Blake and Cassidy Cohen
What: BFF D&M
Where: Casa de Blake, Upper East Side, NYC
When: After this chat

Merlin wasn't really sure what the difference between night and day was right now. He was glad to be out of hospital and home in his own bed with Brandon close on hand if he needed anything, but after his operation, he was so tired and had mostly slept the last couple of days away. Even when he was awake, he was sleepy and kept dozing off. Not quite in the middle of conversations, but not far off it. Brandon kept reminding him that it was okay to sleep if he needed to. It was the body's way of recovering and if there was anything Brandon was an expert in now, it was being a sick person and doing his best to recover while his body had other ideas.

He loved chatting with Cassidy online and when he heard she wasn't far of needing to fly to Australia with Tori for what was frankly an awful reason to do with Sash, Merlin wanted to see her before she left. He had two massive bombs dropped on him in recent days and he didn't want her to find out anything like that secondhand. Since they decided to call it quits on dating and remain friends, they had been as close as ever. Besides Wes, Cas was Merlin's closest friend and they pretty much told each other everything. Their stars hadn't aligned for them dating, with Merlin's shock of finding out he was adopted and Cas juggling a huge upheaval in her life heading into her gender affirmation surgery. It was too much emotional stress to tackle and still focus on dating. But they had both eventually went on to fall in love in the most unexpected ways with their perfect matches, so maybe everything really did happen for a reason.

He didn't even realise he had dozed off again until Cas was there, gently giving his knee a little shake. He told her to come any time and if he was sleeping, just wake him up. Catching up with her before she flew out to Sydney was way more important. He blinked, stretching as he gave her a sleepy smile. "Hey, honeybunch. What time is it? Jeez, I didn't even realise I fell asleep again."

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"You're the best team that we can count on."

Who: Brandon Blake and Merlin Blake with Autumn MacDonald, Montana Everitt, and Olympia Duvall
What: More Difficult Conversations
Where: Blake Residence, NYC
When: Simultaneous to this

Merlin squeezed Brandon’s arm and stopped walking, biting his lip and taking some deep breaths to try to breathe through the pain in his stomach. “Hold on, darlin’. Wait.” They were making their way slowly through the lobby of their apartment building after Brandon had given his keys to the valet to take his car to the parking garage. Merlin was significantly out of place in the luxury marble-floored, marble-columned, leather-sofa’ed lobby in his well-loved Baby Yoda pyjama pants, black Ugg boots, and fluffy blue hoodie bathrobe. He had been too uncomfortable with the post-surgery pain that changing out of his PJs into clothes just for the short trip home was silly, especially when he was just going home to bed anyway.

Brandon was holding Merlin securely around his waist, making sure not to squeeze him too tightly. He had Merlin’s backpack slung over his shoulder and a couple of sick bags stashed in the pocket of his leather jacket that Miles had given him ‘just in case’ for the trip home. Overall, Merlin was doing really well since his op but there was still inevitable pain and some nausea here and there considering the sort of operation it was. Mile said patients who had had abdominal surgery could feel sick again when they moved around a bit more to go home, so it was better to be prepared than be caught short if it happened. They were assured it would all settle down in the coming days and he would probably feel much better being home in his own bed to rest anyway. “It’s okay. Just rest if you need to. We can take it as slow as you need. Do you want to sit for a minute?”

“No, I’m okay. I just wanna keep going so I can go to bed. It’s just hurting to move.” Merlin took a few more moments to rest before he started shuffling forward again, walking much like a geriatric on their way to the nursing home’s weekly bingo match. He really had not anticipated how much the surgery he had would hurt, which probably wasn’t a bad thing at the time or he would’ve had a lot more anxiety about the procedure when he was already emotionally overwrought.

( Sure, the laparoscopic surgery was less invasive but he still had six holes in his gut they had used to dig giant probes around in his insides with... )

LOG, COMPLETE

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[ FACEBOOK ] with Brandon Blake @ magicmoments

My husband sent me this. I feel attacked. I'm also taking away his Reddit when he's bored.

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"But either way, I got you in my DNA."

Who: Jesse Hartley and Cillian O'Donovan
What: A simple twist of AncestryDNA
Where: Hartley/Turner/Casey Home, NYC
When: After this and this

Jesse finished loading their bed clothes in the washing machine when he heard the doorbell chime and checked his watch for the time. The morning had started out pretty badly and time really got away from him but he wasn't foreign to a bit of chaos from time to time. There was just more than their fair share of it in the family lately. At least Merlin was being discharged from hospital, which was a weight off everyone's mind now he was on the mend.

Then Jace had a seizure when he went to the grocery store with Nana Turner, so Jesse had turned down shifts at work for the rest of the week so he could take care of him for what would inevitably be a few days out of action. Jace slept most of yesterday away but he was really struggling with is functioning, so needed Jesse's help with everything. When he woke up that morning, he was a little more lucid but ended up having an accident in bed when his brain misfired the messages to his body. He was feeling pretty miserable and wanted to go back to bed to sleep once Jesse got everything cleaned up and remade the bed. Jesse gave him a kiss and a cuddle, tucking him in and telling him to just call out if he needed help. Jesse would keep a close eye on him anyway, in case there were any aftershock seizures.

Regardless of that, he still had every intention of keeping his promise to Merlin to reach out to Cillian for a chat. Even if it was just to get a bit more information and clarity around who he was and what intentions he had. He hoped that it helped allay some of Merlin's anxiety about the whole thing and help him make the massive decisions he faced. He spent a lot of time with Merlin the evening before last, asking him what he wanted to know of Cillian and if there was anything he wanted Jesse not to get into. No matter what happened, it was going to be difficult. Jesse knew that, having gone through meeting his own paternal biological family. Luckily for him, that all turned out pretty amazing but he knew it could just have easily gone the other way.

He went to answer the door and as soon as he opened it, couldn't help being surprised to not find someone standing there but sitting... in a wheelchair. There was no doubting it was guy in the photo from AncestryDNA that Merlin had shown them, though, so he smiled and offered his hand. "Cillian? I'm Jesse. It's nice to meet you in person."

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[ TEXT ] To Cillian @ somethinglikemagic

Hey, is this Cillian O'Donovan's number?

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"Keep your head up, little brother. I can see you're hurting inside."

Who: Damien Larson, Jesse Hartley, and Merlin Larson
What: Big Brother Duties
Where: Eleven West Unit, Mount Sinai
When: Couple of days after this

Damien and Jesse both discovered that one thing worse than your little brother being sick and in hospital was waiting for your little brother to have surgery. No matter all the reassurances that Merlin was in the best hands and it was a straightforward procedure, Damien just hated the thought of it. Merlin wasn't good with anaesthetic and he had a really rough few days between when he became really ill and was rushed to the ER and the scheduled surgery to widen the stricture in his gut that caused the bowel blockage. There had been another brief endoscopic procedure a few days earlier, then the had to go through really crappy (no pun intended) prep for the second laparoscopic procedure.

What was worse for Damien was he had to be away from the hospital when it all first happened because Liam had been hit with norovirus, which turned out to be what Damien could only describe as gastro on crack. Even if it only lasted a few days, Liam had been so sick and contagious for the duration. Damien mostly dodged the bullet, though he had a couple of days where his guts were a bit dodgy but it was really mild in comparison. He didn't even throw up, but he couldn't be at the hospital while either of them still had symptoms because they'd still be contagious. Liam returned to work that day, and although he couldn't operate on Merlin being his brother-in-law, he was able to be in the operating theatre and observe the procedure, which was a huge relief for Brandon, Damien, and Jesse. Merlin said he didn't really care if the population of a small country was in the OR, he just desperately wanted his stomach to feel better and the pain to finally ease.

Brandon insisted Merlin be transferred to the super private luxury unit, Eleven West, to be cared for after his surgery and even paid for the private nursing care for him, at least for the first few days. They both really needed their privacy and it meant Brandon could both stay at the hospital with Merlin in the twin room, but also be able to come and go freely without fans spotting him and getting up in his face again.

After the first hour or so after Merlin was taken to surgery, Damien kept grilling Jesse about whether it was taking too long, did it mean something was wrong, what was a normal length of time for that sort of procedure, when would they know if anything went wrong, etc. etc. Luckily, Jesse had the patience of an army of saints and answered every question calmly and didn't care how many Damien wanted to ask. Soon, Liam had come to find them and told them Merlin was in Recovery and it all went well, save for a little bit of a bleed when something was accidentally nicked during the procedure but it was resolved quickly. Brandon was going to let them know when he was transferred to the room and wasn't feeling so rough after waking from the anaesthetic, and in the meantime, Liam explained to Damien what the surgeons did in a way he could understand. Jesse already got it, being a Nurse Practitioner himself.

Jesse arranged for Lorenzo to deliver some flowers to the hospital but when they both got to Merlin's room, they discovered Brandon had - of course - beaten them to the punch there and Merlin had a massive bouquet of what looked to be at least three dozen multicoloured roses with a Get Well balloon and large fluffy teddy bear. Still, Merlin did look pretty rough when they got there and so did Brandon, for that matter.

He came over to the bed, softly rubbing Merlin's knee through the blankets he was cocooned in. "Hey, you two. Too soon for a good fart joke? How you holding up, baby bro?"

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[ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Damien (musicsavesmysoul) & Jesse (slowsouthernstyle)

Not sure where you guys went to while you waited but Merlin's feeling a little more human now and asking for you both. If you want to keep him company for a bit, I really need to head home for a shower and change of clothes.

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"You were just a step behind when the strength was hard to find."

Who: Brandon Blake and Merlin Blake
What: Leukemia v2.0
Where: Mount Sinai, NYC
When: After this

“Bran… Bran? Shit— Bran, you gotta wake up, darlin’. Seriously, wake up!”

Brandon struggled out of a deep sleep hearing his name but abruptly jolted awake with the desperate tapping on his arm, closely followed by a shaking of his shoulder. He peeled his eyes open, squinting against the light that assaulted them and realised it was Merlin trying to wake him up urgently. He must’ve fallen asleep lying on the hospital bed with him after Tara and Beau left without realising, so he was groggy and disoriented for a few moments. “... wha—?”

“The edge of the blanket’s stuck under your butt. I can’t get it off my legs. I need to go to the bathroom, like, now. Seriously, baby. Move. Please? Or this ain’t gonna end well.” With a panicked whimper, Merlin tugged sharply at the blanket to try to release, already awkwardly half out of bed and hanging onto his IV pole to take with him once he was untangled from the blanket and Brandon’s embrace.

“Fuck, sorry. Sorry! I’ll help you.” Brandon disentangled himself from the sheets to shove the blanket off his legs, trying to help Merlin up at the same time. That was when he was rudely reminded he was attached to an IV too and nearly pulled the damn thing out of his hand when the tube caught around Merlin’s elbow. “They said this wouldn’t happen!”

( Now his legs were free, Merlin stiffly shuffled his ass to the edge of the bed, one hand holding the IV pole and the other clutching his stomach... )

LOG, COMPLETE

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[ INSTAGRAM (Public Account) ] with Merlin Blake @ magicmoments

Seriously, you guys can be epic hardcore on the selfie game sometimes. Just want to apologize to the fans who bumped into me at the ER late the other night. My husband wasn't well and was getting treated there, so I was a bit off my game and taken by surprise with the encounter. It was the early hours of the morning and I hadn't had much sleep, so cheers for being so cooperative when asked to respect our privacy. Also, thanks for the well wishes from his Broadway fans who knew he was out of action. He's on the mend and should be back in the sparkly Converse again soon. You all rock and we're both blessed to have such cool and supportive fans.

Cheers, B x

Oh, and HAPPY PRIDE

I can say that on here now, can't I?

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"Buckle-up and endure now baby. Cancer for the cure."

Who: Tara Campbell, Beau Watson, Brandon Blake and Merlin Blake
What: Results
Where: Mount Sinai, NYC
When: After this and this

As promised, Jaxson woke Brandon up later that afternoon and he had to admit, having a good few hours of steady sleep definitely helped him feel a bit better and his head didn’t feel so much like it had a demonic jackhammer going off inside his skull. It took him awhile to fully wake up and battle dragging himself out of the warm cocoon of their bed so before heading back to the hospital, he decided to take the bath he had been planning with the muscle soak before Cillian had intercepted him in the lobby.

It gave him a lot of time to think lying there in bubbles letting the warm water soothe all the aches and pains through his body. Not to mention, bathing actually made him begin to feel human again. When he got back to the hospital to see Merlin, he was freshly shaven and his still slightly damp hair was combed back from his face. He opted for a comfortable pair of grey sweatpants and a soft white Balmain knit sweater because he planned on visiting with Merlin for as long as he was allowed.

( Merlin was out for the count when he arrived so Brandon asked to speak to his doctor to get some updates on how he had been... )

LOG, COMPLETE

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"Help me if you can, I'm feeling down. And I do appreciate you being 'round."

Who: Wesley Knight, Jaxson Colt, Brandon Blake, and Merlin Blake
What: Headaches and Hypotheticals
Where: Brandon and Merlin's Apartment, Upper East Side, NYC
When: After this and this

When Brandon finally came back to the land of the living, he tried to sit up, disoriented, but was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. “No, no, no, no. No the fuck you don’t,” he owner of the hand stated. “Take it easy, mate. You’re in your bed. I’m under strict orders to make sure you don’t move so I’m not letting your ass go anywhere.”

“Jax…?” Brandon peeled his eyes open a bit more to make sure he wasn’t imaging his best friend’s voice. Through barely opened eyes, he peered around the dimly-lit room that was definitely his bedroom and he was definitely in bed, so that checked out. “... th’fuck?”

( Jax kept his hand on Brandon’s shoulder, making sure he didn’t try to get up again... )

LOG, COMPLETE

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"He has a father's heart..."

Who: Brandon Blake and Cillian O'Donovan
What: What the fuck?
Where: Upper East Side, NYC
When: After this

It was a short drive home from the hospital, but it was enough for Brandon to doze off when he made the mistake of closing his eyes while he tried to keep his head propped up with his hand. He was woken with a gentle pat to his shoulder from his driver who had been working with him for years now, so Brandon trusted him completely. Very much wasn’t the first time Brandon had crashed out on a journey. Definitely wouldn’t be the last.

“Thanks, Franklin,” he mumbled, peeling off his seatbelt and shoving it over his shoulder, giving his hand an annoyed shake when the belt tangled around his wrist. Franklin got out and came around to open his door for him. Pain radiated through his hip and lower back when he climbed out of the car and he almost fell, grabbing the door so he didn’t faceplant the sidewalk. Franklin had hurriedly held out a hand to help him but Brandon righted himself on the pavement with a wave of his hand, swinging the door closed behind him. “I’m okay, thanks. It’s fine. I’m fine. Just been a hell of a few days. Take the next few days off, bud. I’ll mostly be at the hospital with Merlin. I’ve postponed everything for work.”

( He wasn’t really fine... )

LOG, COMPLETE

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"That's what you get when you confuse your stomach with your heart."

Who: Jesse Hartley, Brandon Blake and Merlin Blake (with Peyton Kingston and Miles Morrison briefly)
What: Big Brother Backup
Where: First up, Brandon and Merlin's place, Upper East Side, NYC
When: After this and this

Brandon met Jesse at the door of their penthouse apartment so he didn’t need to ring the buzzer. Merlin was awake but Wes was asleep at the other side of the apartment and possibly Noah also, but Brandon had lost track of their coming and going over the past couple of frankly stressful as fuck days.

“I’m so sorry for waking you up and getting you out of bed,” Brandon murmured, giving Jesse a hug after closing the door behind him. “I should’ve said more in the texts but I’m not even exactly sure what’s going on. He’s been a bit all over the place, which is my fault for being a dumbfuck. I don’t know if it’s just today he’s had the stomach pain or longer and he was just trying to ignore it. You think it could be his appendix?”

( Jesse gave Brandon’s back a reassuring pat... )

LOG, COMPLETE

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[ TEXT ] To Jesse @ slowsouthernstyle

Hey, Jess. Sorry, I know it's the middle of the night & I dunno if you'll even get this but Merlin's really unwell. I dunno if I should wait until morning to take him to a doctor or take him to the hospital tonight which he doesn't wanna do. Or even just get an ambulance. He's in a lot of pain. I'm freaking tf out.

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[ TEXT ] To Merlin @ magicmoments

You didn't text to let me know how you got on. You 2 ok? Can't come around to check, Li's probably contagious and don't wanna pass anything on to you or B.

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"The finger of blame has turned upon itself, and I'm more than willing to offer myself."

Who: Brandon and Merlin Blake
What: Instant Regret
Where: Merlin & Brandon's Apartment, Upper East Side
When: After this and this

When Brandon woke up the first time after his completely unintentional bender, it was sheer and utter instant regret. He'd be lying if he said he couldn't remember the last time he felt that sick but it would be a lie, considering the nightmare he went through with treatment for leukemia. Sure, he had survived it - so far - and the treatment worked - also so far - but none of that was anything he would forget for a very long time. He just had to learn the lesson the hard way that 1) probably not a good idea to mix liquor with certain medications that he was taking multiple of, and 2) it had been so long since he last drank, and since then he had almost died from cancer, that his body wouldn't have the booze tolerance it used to. A couple of shots, maybe a beer, was all he set out to have to lament the terrible fight he had with Merlin. Also very unintentional. Apparently, it was the day for instant regrets.

The first time he woke, his head felt like it had exploded, his entire body was so painful he was sure he had been hit by a train, and trying to move caused him to try very valiantly to vomit up every internal organ inside him about five times over. He also had a black eye and an impressive lump on his forehead with no clue how he got either, which definitely didn't help how sick he felt with the hangover. 'Mess' didn't begin to cover what he was and he ended up passing out again after all that. Better unconscious than conscious to the side effects of your poor life choices. He definitely wasn't winning any Husband of the Year awards today.

The next time he woke up, he still felt sick and his head was still pounding but he wasn't as disoriented and his usual body aches and pains were no longer dialled up to a million decibels. His mouth was dry and he was so thirsty, he was tempted to down the entire bottle of grape Pedialyte by his bed but resisted because after everything else, Merlin didn't need to be washing grape vomit out of their expensive 1000 thread count bedding. It looked like it was dark outside but he was along in their California King bed with just his own bedside lamp on low illuminating the large room. Before he met Merlin, he used to bask in having the biggest bed alone to himself to stretch out in but not anytime he was in it alone, it felt way too empty and lonely. Since marrying, he got used to waking up spooning or being spooned.

He wasn't sure he had the strength or energy to make it through a shower, even if he was still using a medical shower chair to sit these days because he tired easily. He didn't want to tempt fate on anymore puking waves by trying to do too much. Ironic, considering that issue was what triggered his fight with Merlin to start with. He used the bathroom and settled on splashing some water on his face (which is when he saw the state of his face) and brushed his teeth, leaving it at that. He was cold, so he pulled his grey coral fleece hoodie over his pyjamas and took the bucket (just in case, head trust issues with his stomach these days) to go find Merlin, if his husband was even at home. He wouldn't blame him if he wanted to go to Jesse or Damien's and bitch about what a selfish fuck his husband was.

Not even bothering to attempt the spiral staircase, he instead took the elevator (that was installed when chemo meant it was impossible for him to climb stairs back during the height of his cancer battle) down to the ground floor of their loft apartment. When he stepped out of the elevator, he could hear music, which sounded like someone was playing his grand piano.

He stepped around the corner of the entertainment area of the apartment and found Merlin sitting at the piano playing something from sheet music on his iPad. It dawned on him that it was the first time he had seen Merlin play the piano. In fact, he didn't know he could. This wasn't amateur, though. With his just-in-case bucket hooked over his elbow, he leaned against the doorway to listen, resting his head against the frame and tucking his hands in the front pouch of his hoodie. That was when Merlin spotted him and it stirred up emotions inside him, beyond the guilt of his stupid fuck up at the bottom of a booze bottle. Merlin did so much to take care of him, he shouldn't have arc up at him and caused the fight.